Today was a really full day- I sent out several new proposals, spoke on two teleseminars, made a offer to work with me 1:1 and coached some of my ongoing clients. What was interesting was that I noticed the fullness of silence after completing these tasks.
I noticed that I sent the proposals out early, and was, I guess, anticipating some replies or acknowledgement. Those haven’t yet come. Then I presented on two teleseminars, and felt that those went well- but still, very little feedback in or out.
This is when I started to wonder if the silence was expectant- or deafening.
I’m aware that we soloprofessionals sometimes operate in a bit of a vacuum. We can’t always know how our information is received, nor do we always know how people are responding or reacting to what we share.
We don’t know if we struck a chord, or struck a nerve (and not in a good way.)
I hear this too from my colleagues, most notably when they put updates out in social media, and nobody responds- and worse, it feels like nobody even notices.
So, how do you know if the silence is expectant or deafening?
I’m not sure- but here’s what I’m thinking so far:
First, it sometimes takes people a while to process or absorb what you’ve shared. So you might be expecting immediate replies, but they will actually arrive- a few hours or days later.
Second, there is often a well of silence- the calm before the storm?- that precedes any huge leap forward. It’s almost like the slow building of a wave- it doesn’t look like much until it actually crests.
Third, while external feedback is nice, it’s also important to gauge our own feelings and experience of how we completed whatever we did. If we feel like we did a good job, provided value, that’s a recognition to honor.
So, until the silence shifts, I won’t know if this was expectant or deafening.
But, as one of my best friends always says, “More will be revealed.”
Sometimes the silence is deafening on social media because a thoughtful and penetrating post seems to call for a reflective, intelligent comment. What if there’s no time to craft one? I sometimes write a few words like: “Deep. Coming back to this one.” I know also that comments beget readers and comments on social media — that somebody read the post can lead to other, more articulate people reading it. I think if you have time to be smart, great! If you don’t, you can still give that very brief recognition to meaningful communications.
Elatia,
I love that approach. It offers a very nice way of acknowledging that the message was received (thus breaking that impenetrable feeling silence) and it gives the commenter a chance to develop a response. It also speaks to the idea that a post can still “land” even when people don’t immediately respond. Thank you for sharing your suggestions. I appreciate them very much. 🙂
Thank you, Rachna! I’ve been blogging for 5 years, on a science and culture blog where everyone writes carefully, and virtually everyone writes well. Posts are usually between 2500 and 6000 words. EEEK! We have thousands of readers but many fewer than the usual percentage comment. To routinely get about 30 comments per post, more if I am lucky, I send out a 100-word email teaser with a link, to about 1000 people. I tell them it is precious and deeply meaningful to me when they read and comment, and ask them to do it again. And to be sure to tell me when they need my readership — that I don’t want to miss out. I only write a multi-thousand word essay about 4 to 6 times a year, so this isn’t oppressive. Many of the excellent writers we have do not do this, or anything like it, with a sad result for them — no comments or one or two. Building platform this way takes me 2.5 hours per year — a good investment of half an afternoon’s time over 12 months.
Elatia, this is another wonderful strategy, thank you for sharing this as well. Even accounting for the fact that a high percentage of people only ever read blogs, and never comment or participate; it can still be disheartening when you’ve put so much effort into a post and aren’t sure if anyone has read it. Or, if you can see that they’ve read it, you aren’t sure how it landed for them. I think sending out a brief email and asking for comments is a good way to bridge the space- and potentially encourages people to engage more deeply with your content. Whee!! 🙂